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 on: October 25, 2017, 12:13:02 am 
Started by Milo - Last post by injest
I haven't heard that Weinstein is facing any criminal charges...yet.

You're right that women were indeed more respected in the old days. That got lost along the way, but it is a throwback that the "wymin" seem to want back.

maybe not in an official legal sense, Milo, but he has been tried and found guilty in the kangaroo court of the Liberals.

 on: October 24, 2017, 04:41:33 pm 
Started by Milo - Last post by Milo
the Left has created this new age of 'free' they want to go to a system where a woman is 'respected'...well we HAD that! They were the ones saying they didn't WANT that.

and honestly, I feel bad for Weinstein...I mean, the man grew up in the whole 'free love' thing; women could be like men and just sleep around however they wanted to...and if a woman wanted to trade her body for a part in a movie, who could tell her she couldn't? it's HER slutshaming! It's a little unfair to suddenly change the rules and charge men with all these crimes that weren't crimes when they happened.

I haven't heard that Weinstein is facing any criminal charges...yet.

You're right that women were indeed more respected in the old days. That got lost along the way, but it is a throwback that the "wymin" seem to want back.

 on: October 24, 2017, 04:39:08 pm 
Started by Milo - Last post by Milo

fathers are NOT matter what the neofeminists think!

Exactly. That's why I'm giving this article the broadest exposure I can.

 on: October 23, 2017, 10:28:18 pm 
Started by Milo - Last post by injest
the Left has created this new age of 'free' they want to go to a system where a woman is 'respected'...well we HAD that! They were the ones saying they didn't WANT that.

and honestly, I feel bad for Weinstein...I mean, the man grew up in the whole 'free love' thing; women could be like men and just sleep around however they wanted to...and if a woman wanted to trade her body for a part in a movie, who could tell her she couldn't? it's HER slutshaming! It's a little unfair to suddenly change the rules and charge men with all these crimes that weren't crimes when they happened.

 on: October 23, 2017, 10:21:30 pm 
Started by Milo - Last post by injest

fathers are NOT matter what the neofeminists think!

 on: October 23, 2017, 08:07:56 pm 
Started by Milo - Last post by Milo
The Science of Dad and the ‘Father Effect’

If the scientific study of fatherhood has taught us one thing, it’s that there are data-driven, biological, and psychological reasons why kids seem to do better with dads.

By Joshua A. Krisch Published October 3, 2017.

Children with involved fathers are less likely to break the law and drop out of school. Guided by close relationships with their dads, these kids disproportionately grow up to avoid risky sex, pursue healthy relationships, and hold down high-paying jobs. They’re unlikely to become homeless or rely on welfare and more likely to have higher IQ scores than their peers by age three. Longer term, they suffer from fewer psychological problems and may be less prone to obesity.

“When fathers are actively involved with their children, children do better,” Paul Amato, a sociologist who studies parent-child relationships at Pennsylvania State University, told Fatherly. “All of this research suggests that fathers are important for a child’s development.”

If that sounds like a no-brainer, rest assured that it is not. Research on fatherhood and the downstream effects of engaged, thoughtful dad-ing is scant, relative to the extensive literature on motherhood. Strange as it may sound, fatherhood is an emerging field of study. But there’s a race underway to make up for lost time. Almost daily, scholars are now releasing new data that illustrates how men can both help and hurt their children. Some of these results — ugly divorces aren’t great for kids — are relatively logical. Others are not. One wouldn’t necessarily guess that the correlation between a fatherly presence and lack of aggression would be consistent across class. It is. One wouldn’t assume dad staying home would be negatively correlated to female delinquency. It is.

“The Father Effect” is the umbrella term for the benefits of a paternal presence. These effects can be numerous when fathers actively participate in family life. “There needs to be a minimum amount of time spent together, but the quality of time is more important than the quantity of time,” Amato says. “Just watching television together, for example, isn’t going to help much.”

Fortunately, it seems that this is what modern fathers want and, in a broader sense, what society expects of them. When we were expecting our son, it was essentially a given that I, the father, would take a hands-on role from pregnancy through birth (and beyond, obviously). I didn’t blink when my wife asked me to attend a birthing class with her, and, as a matter of fact, there were few pregnant bellies in the room that weren’t accompanied by anxious, aspiring dad bods. The question of whether I would be involved in the labor was never even raised — it was simply a matter of how close I wanted to be to the action. And for the baby’s first diaper change, the nurses dutifully passed the tarry black baton to me. It felt both squishy and natural.

It wasn’t always thus. That’s why the emerging consensus on the importance of fathers during every stage of a child’s development is worth monitoring. Scientists are studying, on some level at least, a new phenomenon. Their findings support a conclusion that might change how we parent.

It Starts With Sperm

Fathers are more than just sperm donors, but that doesn’t mean one can discount the importance of sperm. There is perhaps no greater and more universal Father Effect than genetic information.

First of all, some parents are inevitably going to pass genetic diseases onto their kids. One way to mitigate that and decrease the odds of passing along the most debilitating diseases is to seek genetic counseling before conceiving, especially if you’re a member of a high-risk group.

But for everyone else, there’s epigenetics — the study of changes in DNA that are caused by lifestyle choices, the environment, and other outside factors. While we tend to blame mothers for ruining the genetic information in their eggs with drugs and alcohol, until recently we had little concept of how fathers’ vices might impact their sperm. We now know that the decisions a man makes before conception can have lifelong impacts on his kids. Studies suggest that men who drink before conception are more likely to have sons who abuse alcohol, and that poor dietary choices in men can lead to negative pregnancy outcomes. At least one study suggests that men who are stressed before conception may predispose their offspring to high blood sugar.

“We know the nutritional, hormonal, and psychological environment provided by the mother permanently alters organ structure, cellular response and gene expression in her offspring,” said Joanna Kitlinska of Georgetown University, who ran a study on the subject in 2016, in a statement. “But our study shows the same thing to be true with fathers—his lifestyle, and how old he is, can be reflected in molecules that control gene function.”

Great Fathers Are Incubated

Until the 1960s, experts seldom encouraged dads to take part in parent groups, to participate during labor, or to care for infants. It was generally understood that dads existed to teach their toddlers to walk and their kids to play catch, not to handle baby — or, gasp, pre-baby — stuff. But the past few decades of research suggest that the earlier a dad gets involved, the better. In a 1997 book on the subject, researchers argued that fathers who are actively involved in labor are effectively developing relationships (albeit one-way relationships) with their children as early as possible, and subsequent studies suggest this leads to stronger early attachment to the baby.

Whether early attachment to a baby breeds more serious involvement in the long-term is a matter of debate, but there’s plenty of evidence that it does. In a 2011 literature review on paternal involvement during pregnancy and labor, the authors claim that the preponderance of evidence suggests that dads who are actively involved and invested in the baby before he or she is born disproportionately remain involved in the child’s life. And, as numerous studies have shown, more paternal involvement means better outcomes for kids. To foster this connection, some scientists have argued that healthy women and newborns should return home as soon as possible after delivery, especially if the father is not allowed to stay overnight in the hospital.

This is not to say that fathers play a critical role in the development of fetuses — after their initial epigenetic contribution, they’re down for the count until after delivery. But pregnancy and labor are when the groundwork for the Father Effect begins, and its importance cannot be overstated.

What We Talk About When We Talk About Engaged Fathers

Before we dive into how involved fathers help their kids (and how uninvolved fathers harm them), it’s important to highlight what an engaged, active, involved father looks like. First of all, as ever, showing up is half the battle. Dads who live with their kids and take time out of their days to attend important events are far more likely to have a positive impact than absent fathers.

For dads who live apart from their kids, there are limited options for engaging fatherly interactions. “Writing letters, phone calls — even if you’re not in physical proximity, knowing your dad cares and wants to be involved to the extent that they can is really important,” Marcy Carlson, a sociologist at the University of Wisconsin, told Fatherly. If you can’t even do that, buying love isn’t the worst idea. “There’s tons of evidence that financial support of kids is good for their outcomes,” she says. “If dads can provide for their children, that goes a long way.”

But just because you’re around doesn’t mean you can rest on your laurels and hope that sitting near your children will somehow raise their IQs or inoculate them against risky sexual behaviors. “The quantity of interaction doesn’t really benefit kids, but if you have more high-quality, engaged parenting that does seem to be positively related to outcomes for children,” Carlson says. Warmth is also a key factor. Fathers who spent a lot of time with their kids but are dismissive or insulting tend to have only negative impacts.

“Low quality fathering can involve behaving coldly toward one’s children, insulting them, or engaging in problem behaviors that are largely incompatible with being a present and engaged father,” Danielle DelPriore, a developmental psychologist at the University of Utah, told Fatherly.

Why Your Infant (and Toddler) Needs a Dad

As a science-oriented person, I try not to be unrealistic about what my toddler understands. Although it pains me to admit it, I understand that he probably doesn’t miss me much when I travel for work, and I know that he lights up in my presence in pretty much the same way he lights up for puppies, apples, and rice cakes. This is frustrating for me, and I’m not alone. There’s a reason that fathers often find themselves wondering why they should even bother investing time and energy into infants who, for at least another couple of years, won’t care or remember.

An entire book, The Role of The Father In Child Development, was arguably written to answer that very question. To make a long story (672 pages!) short, many of the emotional, social, and behavioral benefits mentioned earlier are linked to having a dad in the picture in early childhood. One 1991 study cited in the book found that infants attained higher cognitive scores at age one if their fathers were involved in their lives when they were one month old. Preterm infants similarly score higher at 36 months if their dads play an active role from birth, and a separate study found that infants who played with their dads at nine months enjoyed similar benefits.

(Although the trend holds across several studies, it is important to note that at least one study did not find a link between fathers playing with their infants and cognitive development).

When infants transition into toddlers at around age one, Father Effects become even more pronounced. Studies suggest that when fathers are involved in everyday tasks — dinner, playing in the backyard — rather than expansive but one-off trips, toddlers and young children benefit. Dads also seem to offer a unique touch, with at least one study suggesting that fathers are better than mothers at teaching children how to swim, because they are less overprotective and more likely to let their children venture into the deep end or swim facing away from them.

As anecdotal evidence indicates, sons especially need their dads. In the book Do Fathers Matter? Paul Raeburn describes how scientists observed that U.S. and Norwegian boys whose fathers were off fighting in World War II during their childhoods later had trouble forging relationships with others as they matured. Similar studies cited in the book show that sons who grow up without fathers (or with disengaged fathers) tend to be less popular in preschool. Broadly, the research suggests that boys lean on their fathers more than anyone else as they develop social skills. And one large study of nearly 9,000 adults confirmed that a father’s death affects sons more strongly than daughters, leading to the same sort of health problems seen after an ugly divorce.

In other words, kids — even very young kids — need their dads. And, despite conventional wisdom (and its underpinning sexism), daughters need them too. But for different reasons.

Why Your Daughter Needs a Dad

Most studies suggest that, until children hit puberty, the Father Effect is roughly equal for boys and girls. Both boys and girls who are fortunate enough to have dads in their lives excel and, in some cases, outperform their peers. But when raging hormones kick in, studies demonstrate that dads suddenly become the arbiters of sexual behavior, too. And that is most acutely felt by teenage daughters, who take fewer sexual risks if they have strong relationships with their dads.

“Numerous past studies find a link between low quality fathering and daughters’ sexual outcomes, including early and risky sexual behavior,” Danielle DelPriore, who has studied how dads impact risky sex, told Fatherly. “A father who is cold or disengaged may change daughters’ social environments and sexual psychology in ways that promote unrestricted sexual behavior.”

One of DelPriore’s studies on the phenomenon — or “daddy issues”, as it is popularly portrayed — tracked 101 sister pairs between the ages of 18 and 36. This was a particularly well-controlled study, because it allowed DelPriore and her colleagues to examine how two women with similar genetics who were raised under similar environmental conditions might differ in their sexual risk-taking. She found that, when one sister grew up with an active, warm father and the other was raised in a broken home or after their father became less engaged, the former grew up to largely avoid casual unprotected sex while the latter often embraced it. Although DelPriore examined several outside factors — including relationships with mothers — one of the most salient links between a woman and her sexual decision-making was how close she felt to her father.

DelPriore suggests that daughters might learn from disengaged fathers that they shouldn’t expect men to invest meaningfully in long-term relationships, and so they settle for riskier casual flings. It’s also possible that “daughters with disengaged fathers receive less parental monitoring and are more likely to affiliate with sexually promiscuous friends,” she says. “On the other hand, having a father who is warm and engaged can protect against these outcomes.”

DelPriore defined “engaged fathers” as those who behave warmly and interact meaningfully with their kids. They’re the sort of dads who help with homework and attend sporting events, seldom insulting their children or behaving coldly. “When it comes to daughters, taking the time to listen to them, learn about their lives, show up for important events, and provide emotional support, could protect against early and unrestricted sexual behavior,” she says. “Dads do not have to be perfect, and making a genuine effort to be there for their daughters could make a big difference.”

What Happens When Dad Disappears

Children who lose a father to death or incarceration suffer much like those who have uninvolved fathers and represent an easier community to study than the abandoned.

Several research projects have focused on how a father’s incarceration can harm children. The largest of these efforts is Princeton University’s Fragile Families Study, which is currently following a cohort of 5,000 children born in the United States between 1998 and 2000. Most of the children in the study have unmarried parents and absentee fathers, for a variety of reasons. One of the most sobering findings of the FFS is that, when a dad is behind bars or otherwise far away, there is relatively little he can do to have a positive influence on his children.

“For dads that live far away, it doesn’t seem there’s tons of evidence that what they do matters for their children,” Carlson told Fatherly. “Dads living with their kids are much more involved; they read stories to their children and put their kids to bed. If you look at comparisons of resident and non-resident dads, there’s a consistent difference in average involvement.”

When dads are absent due to prison sentences, kids face additional challenges — sometimes more serious ones than what they would have faced had their fathers died or left due to divorce. “Most of the literature on widowhood shows that kids whose dads died are better off than kids who go through divorce,” she says. As for incarceration “there’s a lot of stigma and stress. I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s worse for kids when their dads are away due to incarceration.”

How To Be A Good Dad

A lot goes into being a solid father. Making healthy decisions before conceiving so that your kid has the best shot in life, genetically speaking. Coaching your partner through pregnancy and birth so that your bond to your child starts early. Playing with your infant even though he’ll never remember. Counseling your teenage daughter about making smart choices. But those are the mechanical parts of fatherhood. In a more general sense, these studies all emphasize the importance of not just parenting, but parenting well — not just being present and doing what the studies suggest, but legitimately caring for your children and modeling good behavior.

Perhaps most importantly, dads need to realize that their kids are always watching, and that what they do matters. How well a dad parents influences a child’s psychological, cognitive, and social development, and strongly steers him or her toward adulthood. Because dads do matter.

“Fathers and mothers are children’s most important teachers,” Amato says. “Fathers might ask themselves, what are my children learning — about life in general, about morality, about how family members should treat one another, about relationships — from observing me every day?”

 on: October 18, 2017, 07:04:41 am 
Started by Milo - Last post by Milo

WALSH: We Can't Just 'Teach Boys Not To Rape.' They Need A Positive Message Of Male Identity.

October 17, 2017

I wrote a piece on the Harvey Weinstein scandal yesterday. In a change of pace, some people were upset.

I'll give you one example of a message I received:

"Matt, your post was bull sh*t. I don't need this long analysis of why Harvey Weinstein raped people. Here's all that you as a man needs to tell your readers: DON'T RAPE PEOPLE. Instead of worrying about the "culture" and trying to use this story as an excuse to push your "values," maybe we should just be BLAMING THE RAPISTS for rape and TEACHING MEN NOT TO RAPE. It's not that hard. That's all you need to say."

It's quite clear that men aren't allowed to participate in the discussion about rape and sexual assault except to grunt in three word sentences. "Rape is bad." "Men shouldn't rape." "Blame the rapists." Of course it's true that rape is bad and men shouldn't rape and we should blame the rapists. It's so true that there's no reason to say anything if that's all you're going to say. Everyone knows that rape is bad and you shouldn't do it. Even rapists know that.

It's unfortunate that "teach men not to rape" has become the one single acceptable takeaway from every rape or sexual assault scandal. Unless the rapist or sexual assaulter is a female middle school teacher, in which case the takeaway is that middle school boys need to have a little more self-control. But as for men rapists and harassers, the only moral to the story is that men need to be taught how to not rape people.

On that end, there are hundreds of articles explaining in specific detail how to instruct boys in the art of not raping. Twitter is filled with people shouting from the metaphorical rooftops that men need to stop raping and the only way to get them to stop is to teach them. There have even been books written on the subject.

On occasion, more detail is offered. Helen Rosner, a feminist writer for The New Yorker and other publications, let loose a whole string of viral tweets yesterday describing what else we may teach men in addition to teaching them about not raping. These lessons include but are not limited to: "be pro-choice," "support subsidized birth control," "talk less," don't hang out in groups with just men, and "deprogram your belief that your desire matters." Then she capped off a list that began with "be pro-choice" by insisting that men should also "befriend children." Clearly this lady has a strange idea of friendship. She has a strange idea of men, too. I'm not sure that she's ever actually met one.

I think all of this misses the mark by about a thousand miles. The "teach men not to rape" approach — whether or not it's explicitly accompanied with the "teach men they are worthless pigs who should shut up and bow to their feminist overlords" approach — is fantastically wrong for two reasons:

1. You're actually letting rapists off the hook. What's obviously insinuated by "teach boys not to rape" is that rapists are raping because they were never taught that they shouldn't. In this version of things, rape is just a misunderstanding. The rapist isn't a man consciously committing a heinous act of evil. He's just a bumbling dummy who's never been educated about the badness of rape and sexual assault.

Maybe there are a few rapists out there who really didn't know they were doing anything wrong, but the ones in that category are insane. Harvey Weinstein is not insane. He knew that he shouldn't assault and harass women, but he did it anyway. Anti-rape education wouldn't have stopped him just as it wouldn't have stopped the majority of rapists on Earth.

2. More importantly, you can't raise boys simply by providing them a list of things they shouldn't do and shouldn't be. We ought to be giving boys a positive message of male identity. "Don't be a rapist" isn't quite enough. We can't just tell them what not to be. We have to tell what to be.

We scold boys all day, shouting, "Men aren't supposed to be this, men aren't supposed to be that." But let anyone follow up those negative lessons by saying, "OK, now here is what a man is," and he'll be lectured for reinforcing gender roles. The same does not happen in the reverse. Nobody ever says, "teach girls not to ____." Instead, we teach girls how amazing they are, how smart, how brave, how useful, how strong, how beautiful. While boys are told, "Shut up and don't rape people," girls are told to reach for the stars and fulfill their wondrous potential.

Those Helen Rosner tweets are a great example of this strategy taken to its extreme. It's a long harangue meant not to help boys or encourage or empower them, but neuter and silence them. God forbid this disturbed, hateful woman ever has sons of her own. She's the type who'd dress her boy up in a skirt and claim he's come out as "transgender," when really she just despises boys and can't stomach raising one. By the way, do you think it's a coincidence that it's usually young boys, and not girls, discovering their "transgenderism" in our anti-male culture? We hate boys so much that we're trying to literally turn them into girls.

I'm not saying that this approach leads to more rapists. I'm not sure there's any evidence that we have more rapists today than at any other point in history. But it does lead to men who, though not rapists, remain still lost, aimless, empty, and confused. They may not assault women but they certainly don't know how to interact with them. They don't know what their job and role is supposed to be in the male-female relationship because nobody ever showed them. All they were ever told was, "Don't be a jerk; don't be a rapist."

OK, fine. Got it. Lesson learned. What now? What should I be now?

If you want to raise a boy who will not only avoid becoming a rapist, but may even succeed in doing something actively positive with his life, then he must be taught — he must be shown — how to harness his masculinity to a constructive end. He must have examples of real men in his life so that he can see not only what men don't do, but what they do and why they do it.

I don't think my parents ever sat me down and said, "Matt, you mustn't rape," or "Matt, son, don't assault random strangers," or "Matt, listen here: don't become a serial killer." Those lessons were embedded in the larger one. I could see that my dad was loving and protective (which pretty much covers the "don't rape" thing). I could see that he provided for his family. I could see that he stood up for his beliefs. I could see that he was obedient to God. I could see that he was responsible and trustworthy. I could see that he was strong, intellectually and morally. I could see what a man is, and that gave me a pretty good idea of what he isn't.

Many boys today have absent fathers or weak, emasculated ones, which gives them a great example of what a man isn't, but leaves them clueless about what he is. They turn on the TV and see more examples of what a man isn't. They go to school and they're told more about what a man isn't. Everywhere they turn, man is an absence, a hole, a list of shouldn'ts. All they ever see is man in the negative. And if they go looking for a Real Man, they'll be told that no such thing exists and how dare they even use such an archaic and misogynistic phrase. There are bad men, but no good ones. Fake men, but no real ones. Toxic masculinity, but no constructive masculinity.

We can't do this. We can't have it both ways. We can't complain that men in our culture lack masculine virtue while insisting that there is no such thing as masculine virtue. If we want men who aren't rapists — who are even better than not-rapists — we have to shoot higher. We have to shoot for good men. And if we want good men, we have to show them what that means.

 on: September 06, 2017, 02:01:56 pm 
Started by Milo - Last post by Milo
I found this over at Bettermost this weekend, and decided to watch. Its good. Real good.


Part 1

Part 2

 on: June 02, 2017, 09:43:31 pm 
Started by Milo - Last post by injest
Thanks, Jess. We had a blast that afternoon. The black woman was quite in control of herself, especially for  Democrat. The White Democrat looked as if her head might explode at any moment. What was interesting is that, after we finished recording, the black Democrat took the white Democrat to task over Hillary stealing the primary from Bernie. That was entertaining!!

I knew she was a Democrat before she opened her mouth...just had that bitchy holier than thou look about her..

 on: June 02, 2017, 12:27:26 pm 
Started by Milo - Last post by Milo

aww! look at you on the TV! you did good...well spoken and reasoned!

good for you!

Thanks, Jess. We had a blast that afternoon. The black woman was quite in control of herself, especially for  Democrat. The White Democrat looked as if her head might explode at any moment. What was interesting is that, after we finished recording, the black Democrat took the white Democrat to task over Hillary stealing the primary from Bernie. That was entertaining!!

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