Thats simple: Milo can hire me as the "border patrol agent". With my demeanor of a deputy about to issue a citation, I bet Id sow doubts in the queenier ones that it was a gay establishment at all, and thats half the battle right there, the kind of guys that cant get their head around the idea of a masculine man being gay, figuring its all a big front for the big girly we all sceretly are inside, those are the ones that would feel more at home amid the ferns and drag queens anyways.
OH MAN!!!! How much fun would a bar like that be?? Of course we'd have to make sure that local gay community understood that the place was not about leather, denim, or jockstraps either. That's the standard fare of many no-frills gay bars.
Of course, this has sparked my imagination. Right now I'm thinking about what an androphile vacation resort would be like. I'm thinking that it would be alot like summer camp. There'd be a shooting range (I was always more partial to bow & arrow than guns, but we could do both), horses, a basketball court, and most definitely a baseball diamond. It would be on a big lake so guys could go swimming, canoeing, sailing, and fishing. Instead of shopping trips, there'd be hiking trips in the mountains. Instead of step aerobics, or one of those insipid rock climbing walls, we could have contests in tree climbing, axe throwing, and log splitting. OK...maybe there would be a workout room, but no sex in the sauna...even for couples!! Instead of fine dining, we'd cook over an open flame, which would be the only "open flame" allowed on the property. Oooooo...FIRE!!! Instead of a nightclub, every night there'd be a big bonfire and bottles of beer, scotch, tequila, you name it. And instead techno-pop, we could sit around the fire and tell stories and sing songs, and play guitars, or whatever.
And you know none of the sissies would
ever show up. Why?? Because there would be no topless, agency models with shaved chests & armpits in the print ads. WAIT!!! I could use Brad and AJ as the models for the ads, all decked out in plaid and denim.
Geeeez...I REALLY need to get out of the city for a few days.
