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MagicM
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« on: July 22, 2015, 12:55:36 am » |
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Don't know whether you guys have heard this one but here goes:
John was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture when suddenly a brand-new 2015 BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man in a
Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, RayBan® sunglasses and YSL® tie, leaned out the window and said, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?" John looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell® notebook computer, connects it to his Apple i phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop® and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany ... Within seconds, he receives an email on his Apple ipad® that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL® database through an ODBC connected Excel® spreadsheet
with email on his Galaxy S5® and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on hishi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet®
printer, turns to John and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says John. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man
stuffs it into the boot of his car. He then says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you
give me back my calf?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?" "You're a member of the Government", says John. "Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, “but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required." answered John. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know shit about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep.”
“Now give me back my dog.”
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