Cover your eyes for this, Jess. Once upon a time, I saw an, uh, "erotic film" purely by accident, I just turned on the teevee and there it was
. Anyways, it had a "western theme", which pretty much means aspiring Hollywood actors duded up in Western wear from the International Male catalogue.
So before the boys git down to business, they go thru the painful business of "acting" according to the "plot"...now its been said by Jack Malebranche that porn is carnal truth, i.e., whatveer their politcs and beliefs/wishful thinking on what constitutes masculinity, when guys are paying for the experience(not that I was paying, you understand), they want to be looking at manly men. Scott Glenn in Urban Cowboy, not Nathan Lane in "The Birdcage" basically.So these "actors" were regular acting guys, not fairies, but they were likely city boys and their physcial exercise most likely come from lifting weights at a Hollywood gym, sure as Hell not from running 12 miles of fence after a t-storm or pitching out stalls.
So the magic moment comes around, our heros set out for a "horseback ride" and you can tell from the body language not only had these guys never been on or near a horse in their lives, but the blond was plainly scared shitless of the savage beast (20 if it was a day, tame as tabby cat,likely spent its life giving gentle pony rides to small children at a zoo somewheres) and when time come to mount the trusty steed, he had a look of un-acted fear as if he was attempting to hop a moving train while the cops were shooting at him. Took me right out of the moment, I was laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes.
When the action shot came around, you could see it wasnt the same horse he was on, must of fussed so much they got a large stuffed animal for the boys to ride and projected a movie of Monument Valley in the background while they "rode" up to the nekkid swimming hole.
Lets hope the hired someone to give these guys lessons in making it look real, ot at least make it bad enough to be entertaining.
